I wanted to reach out to my sister. God had called Mom and Dad to adopt Star, but none of us knew the full extent of her story, not until she told me.
“I only know hurt and abuse.” Star came from a remote village in Iraq originally, but she had learned English. I could understand her clearly, at least when it came to speech, but when it came to other things I could not begin to understand.
“Star I want to be your friend, we are going to be sisters, and I want to be your friend as well.”
“I have never had friends, all I have been is hurt and abused. I feel dirty, I don’t deserve friends.”
“Star everyone deserves friends.”
The emptiness in her eyes tore at my heart, I was only a few years older than she was, but I had never seen such a look of loneliness.
“I’m scared. “
“What happened to you Star?”
“I was raped many times, over and over again, I am scared, I am angry, I don’t want to be friends, I just want to die.”
“Star your not dead God has you here for a reason.”
“What does God care about me? I was raped, I was a little child, and I was raped over and over again, I was beaten until I was bloody, I was made to watch as everything was taken from me. I was not allowed a childhood. I am dirty, you can not begin to understand.”
This little girl of thirteen had been through more than most people would go through in a thousand lifetimes. I could see the fear in her eyes. Even meals seemed to care her, she became timid and if she dropped anything she would cower.
“Mom are you sure we can handle this?” I asked. “She is so hurt, I can’t reach her. She’s been through so much, just what she has told me makes me shutter, and I can not even begin to imagine what she’s not telling me. I’m not sure I want to.”
“Hope she’s your sister, God has placed her into your life for a reason. I truly believe we were meant to adopt her, you are just going to have to be patient with her.”
I was being patient. But I still could not even begin to think how I was going to reach to my Sister. The adoption had not been an easy process and neither was Stars adjustment going to be.
I was doing my best to be a good sister to Star, but at the same time I felt lost and helpless.
“Hope you saw some of the pictures after she was found, you know she’s been through a lot, give it time. “
“I’m trying Mom. I really am.”
“I know you are, and your doing great. I think Star does want to have someone who cares, she is just afraid.”