Saturday, January 28, 2012

Shadows From Our Past (Now Available)

Chapter One:
            The adventurous spirit was running thin, and we all knew now that we were running with a purpose, we were disappearing because we had no other choice.  Spending so much time together in the RV was wearing on all our nerves, but we knew that we had no choice.  My Father had nearly killed Jacob and we knew that it would not take much for him to go after us next.  We were running for our lives, this was no adventure.  We had to run, the truth was we had no other choice but to run, we may not be comfortable but for now we were safe.
            I knew the kids were getting bored, and it was hard for everyone but we were all going to have to deal with it.  All that mattered was that we were safe at the moment, and somehow we were managing.  I had to admit even I was being driven crazy by the cramped space, thankfully we had a bigger RV, wide enough where my chair could fit through, not to mention Mechela’s but the adventure really was wearing thin, and we were all looking forward to getting someplace where we could sleep in a house that wasn’t on wheels.  Don’t get me wrong we were all more than grateful to have the RV but we needed something that wasn’t on wheels.  We just had to be extremely careful, we could not let this destroy us or destroy our faith and we were not going to, even when we were nowhere near a Church on Sundays, we all spent time worshipping and praying together, and despite the kids discomfort they were all doing their best to help each other, and to keep a positive attitude.
            Lord thank you for getting us this far, we are all on edge and if we are not acting as you would like I ask you forgive us.  We just all want to get into a place that isn’t on wheels.  We are grateful for all you have done Lord, and I thank you for that.
            Jacob had been calling around anonymously to find if we could find any cabins that we could rent.  We were going to have to be careful, but we had to do something we had to get out of the RV for awhile and try to get to a somewhat normal of a life.  I knew things were far from normal in our family, especially when we were all running from a man that was supposed to love us, the man being my father.  A man who had made my sister feel that she had to fake her own death and make us all believe it for nearly two decades. 
            I was going to be glad to get into a place, that wasn’t on wheels and I knew the kids would too.  We were all growing restless with being copped up in such a small place, and I knew we would all be relieved to get out of the motor home and into the cabin where at least the kids could run around free, and do what they had to do.  I knew Jasmine and Ahab were especially getting restless, they wanted to be able to move around more and to feel less claustrophobic.
            “We are going to get out of here, and enjoy ourselves.” Jacob promised.  I was glad that my husband was sure, because the truth was I knew that the kids needed to know that we were going to be okay, that we were not always going to have to run and I was grateful for that\.  I was grateful that I had a husband who was so supportive and did everything he could for the kids.  It was truly a blessing a blessing I was grateful for.
            “I hope so Daddy, this is boring.” Jasmine said, hands on her hips.  I knew she was getting bored, her cast was finally off, and she wanted to be able to run around again.  Ana was getting stronger as well, she still walked with a limp from the stroke but at least she could walk, and her speech was clear now, compared to before.  Anna had struggled a lot before and now was the time for her to enjoy herself.  She deserved to enjoy herself, all the kids did,
            “I know sweetie, but this was the only way that could keep us safe.” I reminded Jasmine.  I knew she understood but it was still hard for an eight almost nine year old to sit still this long, and to feel they were constantly on the run.  The kids missed going to school and being with their friends, but at the moment that was not an option.
            “Will we ever get to stop running Mom?” Vania asked.  She had graduated and wanted to go onto college but at the moment even that was not an option.  I knew that Vania would not always want to run, and someday she just may make a chose to move away from home, but I was not going to worry about that day, until it came.  For now I had to worry about keeping my children safe, and I was going to keep doing what I could to protect my family. At times I felt it was my fault they were in so much danger, if only I had not dug into my Fathers past, but if I had not Anna and Mechela might not be with us.  I still might think my sister was dead, and still be grieving, as it was she was alive, and I was more than grateful for that.  I was more than grateful for the life that we all had been blessed with.
            “I hope we will someday soon Vania.  I wish it did not have to be this way, but I want to keep you guys safe, that is the only way to keep you guys safe.”
            “I know Mom, I do not blame you for this Mom, I just wish things were different than they are, I wish things were different. I wish that we did not have to run.  I know it’s not your fault, but Grandfather is a monster, I realize that now.  I wish things were different, we had a different kind of Grandfather, but we don’t.  I guess we can not change who we are related to but we can change who we are, we can decided whether we are going to make the best out of what we have, and we truly are grateful for all you and Dad do for us.  Please don’t think we are not grateful for all you have done, because the truth is we know how much you sacrifice for us.”
            The fact that my children understood we were doing this for them, showed me that Jacob and I had been blessed with children who could talk to us, and tell us how they felt without being disrespectful,  they knew that was not something we tolerated.
            A few hours after Vania and I had our talk Jacob pulled over to a rest stop so we could have a little bible study, we were not near a church, but it didn’t mean we stopped taking time to worship the Lord, we would all take turns reading from the Bible and singing.  It was the one thing we all agreed on, was that no matter what we needed to take time to read the word and worship the Lord, and of course pray.  We did a lot of praying.
            Jacob turned to Matthew 14 reading about what John the Baptist went through for Christ, even being martyred for Christ, being beheaded, if it came down to it.

Matthew 14

John the Baptist Beheaded
 1At that time Herod the tetrarch heard the reports about Jesus, 2and he said to his attendants, "This is John the Baptist; he has risen from the dead! That is why miraculous powers are at work in him."
 3Now Herod had arrested John and bound him and put him in prison because of Herodias, his brother Philip's wife, 4for John had been saying to him: "It is not lawful for you to have her." 5Herod wanted to kill John, but he was afraid of the people, because they considered him a prophet.
 6On Herod's birthday the daughter of Herodias danced for them and pleased Herod so much 7that he promised with an oath to give her whatever she asked. 8Prompted by her mother, she said, "Give me here on a platter the head of John the Baptist." 9The king was distressed, but because of his oaths and his dinner guests, he ordered that her request be granted 10and had John beheaded in the prison. 11His head was brought in on a platter and given to the girl, who carried it to her mother. 12John's disciples came and took his body and buried it. Then they went and told Jesus.
Jesus Feeds the Five Thousand
 13When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Hearing of this, the crowds followed him on foot from the towns. 14When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick.
 15As evening approached, the disciples came to him and said, "This is a remote place, and it's already getting late. Send the crowds away, so they can go to the villages and buy themselves some food."
 16Jesus replied, "They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat."
 17"We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish," they answered.
 18"Bring them here to me," he said. 19And he directed the people to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people. 20They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. 21The number of those who ate was about five thousand men, besides women and children.
Jesus Walks on the Water
 22Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. 23After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, 24but the boat was already a considerable distance[a] from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.
 25During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear.
 27But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."
 28"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."
 29"Come," he said.
   Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"
 31Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"
 32And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God."
 34When they had crossed over, they landed at Gennesaret. 35And when the men of that place recognized Jesus, they sent word to all the surrounding country. People brought all their sick to him 36and begged him to let the sick just touch the edge of his cloak, and all who touched him were healed.
            Sitting together as a family and worshiping the Lord allowed us to at least for a few moments feel as if we were normal at least for a short time, and worshiping the Lord was not something we had ever planned on changing no matter how much danger we were in.

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